Emetophobia

Emetophobia is an intense, irrational fear or anxiety pertaining to vomiting.



For a long time I haven't felt comfortable sharing a phobia of mine that I have struggled with for nearly 14 years now. I have always been looked down on because of my fear because it is irrational, and I am very aware, but what no one seems to understand is that this anxiety is completely uncontrollable. And telling me I need to just "get over it" is quite frankly rude, because trust me, I would if I could. My question to you is, do you think I enjoy planning my life around avoiding vomit? Well maybe after I provide some insight into my every day anxiety, you all can understand, even slightly, how it feels to be an emetophobe.

 It all started when I was seven years old. My family went on a vacation to a cabin, in the dead of winter, with only an outhouse. My body decided that would be the time I would get the stomach flu. I was sick all night, forced to get sick in a  giant garbage bag. Ever since that terrible night, my crippling fear has gotten worse and worse. Once I got into high school, it settled down because I felt like I had the ability to avoid the stomach flu, or vomit of any kind, because at this time I hadn't been sick since the night in the cabin. Quite honestly I felt like it was under control until about a year ago when one morning I went to get Bauston from his crib and found him, and everything in his crib covered in puke. I held onto hope that it was food poisoning, but not even 24 hours later, I was kneeling in front of the toilet and losing my dinner. Ever since then my fear turned back into a phobia.

I'll give you an idea of what it is like to be an emetophobe when the unthinkable happens, you witness someone vomit, or even worse, you vomit. It's so bad that if someone even says their stomach hurts, you avoid them at all costs, you refuse to touch anything they touch, and if you have to, your hands won't feel clean for hours, no matter how many times you wash them. If you have a stomach ache, your heart starts to race. then the uncontrollable shaking starts, and I don't mean a little shiver, it's like you are practically seizing. Then comes the thinking, you can't get the sound of someone throwing up out of your head, the memory of throwing up or seeing someone throw up replays in your head. What do most people suggest? Go to sleep. Go to sleep? It's impossible. It is inescapable.

The past few weeks I have had a panic attack almost every night because this awful thing. I refuse to let my child play with another child until I am positive they are healthy, and that means have not been sick for two weeks or preferably longer. I don't want any more children because of how contagious this virus is. If someone has been at my house and they have been sick or I fear they are becoming sick, I disinfect everything. I carry hand sanitizer with me and Wetones wipes (the only brand proven to kill the rotovirus and the norovirus) and wipe down everything, credit card machines, shopping carts, door knobs and list goes on and on.

I'm sick of this phobia. It's not a joke, and it's not something I can just kick. I need professional help, but I don't even know where to start.

I appreciate anyone who understands, and thank you for reading.

XO Ella

Blessed

Blessed is the influence of one true,

loving human soul on another.

- George Eliot

 

                            
                                 Good Morning

I was sitting at the breakfast table this morning and I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of joy watching my little one dunk his blueberries into his syrup dish. It occurred to me that he is almost always content with what he is doing. Wouldn't it be nice to always be content in our adult lives? It also occurred to me that has unconditional love for me as his mommy. No matter how many mistakes I make, he will always love me the same. His love is the only thing I need to get me through each day. He brings me so much joy, and I hope everyone gets to experience this kind of a love.

Have a wonderful day, everyone. Despite the weather, your current situation, or how annoying your boss is, make it a good day because you will never get it back.

 

XOXO

Ella

The Big Move

Hello all! I hope everyone is having a beautiful day. We have been thinking about redoing our bedroom for quite some time now, so we went to our local American Furniture and an idea came to us. "What if we moved to the basement?"

My mom has a photography studio in the basement and we came up with the idea of switching our room with the studio. we could then personalize the entire basement level like our own little apartment. We proposed the idea to my parents, and... it worked. We are officially moving downstairs and the move starts today.

We have a long skinny space to work with and we love the ide of "black, white, and grey". I will upload pictures as soon as we finish. Wish us luck!

XOXO

Ella

Homemade Pizza Rolls

What you'll need:
1 can of pillsberry croissant rolls
4 string cheese sticks cut in half
16 pepperonis
Your favorite marinara sauce

Instructions:
Preheat over to 375 degrees. Open the can of croissant rolls and unroll the dough. Separate them into 8 triangles. Next place 1/2 of string cheese stick on each triangle on the thick end. Place two pepperonis on top on each string cheese. Roll up the croissant rolls and place in the oven for 12 minutes. Warm about a cup of your favorite marinera sauce and serve and enjoy!

This is one of the easiest recipes you can cook. It's perf for a quick afternoon snack or an appetizer for dinner. They were gone in minutes at my house. It's the perfect recipe for anyone who doesn't know how to cook. Super easy and quick.

Xoxo
Ella

Introduction

Hello everyone! It has been quit some time since I have written a blog post and I apologize. I have decided to redo my blog entirely and delete everything I had posted before. I plan on posting my favorite recipes, healthy and unhealthy, as well as makeup and hair tutorials, but first let me introduce myself for those of you who do not know me.

***



Hi, my name is Eleigh, but a lot of people call me Ella. I'm the mommy of a very sweet little boy named Bauston, and I am married to my best friend Sean. I am a student and currently work at Victoria's Secret, but as much as I love bras and lingerie, I don't plan on working there forever. I recently got hired as an assistant wedding planner and will be working at many weddings during the 2015 season. I am so thankful for such a wonderful opportunity and I can't wait to see what it brings me this year.

My husband Sean is also a student although he is still unsure what he wants to study.

Meet my family!

Our history (in a nutshell):

Sean and I met in march of 2012 and were inseparable ever since.

That summer we found out we were expecting a baby, going into our senior year of high school. Every plan of going to a university and being a normal kid flew out the window and we both worked hard to graduate early in December of 2012. We married January 11th, 2013 and began the wonderful journey or love and happily ever after.

Bauston was born April 9th, 2013. Life has never been better!



 We did everything backwards, got pregnant, got married, graduated high school and then went to college, but I wouldn't have it any other way! I hope you all enjoy my new and improved blog, feel free to request things you would like to see. Thanks for stopping by!

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellaxarnold

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/eleigh.barrios

Tumblr: http://elxigharnold.tumblr.com/